The World of David Walliams 3 Book Collection (The Boy in the Dress, Mr Stink, Billionaire Boy) by David Walliams

Author:David Walliams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2013-05-23T00:00:00+00:00

“And that’s not all. We just had a call from the Prime Minister.”

“Winston Churchill?”

“No, we’ve got a new one now, and he wants you and mother to go on this programme called Question Time tonight.”

“On the televisual box?”

“The TV? Yes. And I was thinking, before you go on…” Chloe looked at Mr Stink hopefully. “It might be a good idea if you had a…”

“Yes, child?”

“Well a…”

“Yes…?”

“A…” She finally plucked up the courage to say it, “…bath?”

Mr Stink looked at her suspiciously for a few seconds.

“Chloe?” he asked at last.

“Yes, Mr Stink?”

“I don’t smell, do I?”

How could she answer that? She didn’t want to hurt Mr Stink’s feelings, but then again it would be much easier to be around him if he were introduced to Mr Soap and his charming wife, Mrs Water…

“No, no, no, of course you don’t smell,” said Chloe, gulping the biggest gulp that had ever been gulped.

“Thank you, my dear,” said Mr Stink, seeming almost convinced. “Then why do people call me Mr Stink?”

In her head, Chloe heard the intensely dramatic music from Who Wants to be a Millionaire? This could in fact have been the million pound question. But Chloe had no ‘50/50’, no ‘ask the audience’ and not even a ‘phone a friend’ at her disposal. After a long pause, in which you could have watched all three Lord of the Rings films in their specially extended director’s cuts, words started to form in Chloe’s mouth.

“It’s a joke,” she heard herself saying.

“A joke?” asked Mr Stink.

“Yes, because you actually smell really nice so everyone calls you Mr Stink as a joke.”

“Really?” His suspicion seemed to be thawing a little.

“Yes, like calling a really small man ‘Mr Big’ or a very thin person ‘Fatso’.”

“Oh, yes, I understand, most amusing!” chuckled Mr Stink.

The Duchess looked at Chloe with a look that said, You had the chance to tell him, but you chose to carry on the lie.

How do I know that the Duchess’s look said this? Because there is an excellent book in my local library entitled One Thousand Doggy Expressions Explained by Professor L. Stone.

I digress.

“But,” said Chloe, “you might like to have a bath, well, just for fun…”

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